I’m a Black woman and you can touch my hair! Please touch my hair. I am not sure what the hoopla is about, when some Black women say to men “You betta not touch my hair!” For some women, it brings out the angriest emotions I have ever seen and their nonverbal language tells a treacherous story. I am not sure if it is the touching of the hair or the rubbing of the scalp that is the problem.
Of course a woman doesn’t want her hair touched or caressed after just leaving the hair salon or when it is styled for a particular event. It costs a lot of money to get your hair looking just right, so that I understand. It also cannot be a randomly touched. No one would like to be approached and suddenly have a person touching his or her hair! You should ask a woman’s permission if you are just so curious about her hair that you think you must touch or feel it.
Hair...To Touch or Not Touch?
1. It feels good. Have you ever had someone just run his or her fingers through your hair just because? If you don’t snap and allow yourself to be in the moment, you will start feeling some good sensations, possibly even on your scalp.
2. I like it. It goes without saying. If you are not “the don’t touch my hair” monster you may find that someone touching your hair is a nice thing.
Even if I have a weave in my hair or braids, I want my hair to be touched because to me it says you like me.
3. It’s comforting. Fingers touching my hair, touching my scalp in a gentle way can put me to sleep because it is so comforting. Not a bad thing. It reminds me of that touch mothers give to their babies when they want to comfort them. The hands moving from the top of the head, around the temples, down towards the spine. Mmmm. Comforting. Sometimes even now, adult children will say to their mothers “rub my head mom.’
4. It awakens cells that have been dormant for months if not years. Sometimes if done correctly, hair will begin to grow again. What an awakening!
So, if I know you intimately, if you are a close friend, and especially if you are male, go ahead and touch, caress, feel, do whatever you want to this Black woman’s hair. I like it.