The “Love” month has ended and I want to remind Black women that all is not lost if there was no luck in finding love. The “Lucky” month begins with new possibilities for finding love, but only if we are prepared to do some shifting in our thinking.
I have been having a difficult time making this shift myself, while still processing what has become another “new normal.” It seems most of our own men don’t want us, or like us. We are insulted and degraded, and our hearts are broken when women of other races are chosen before us. I’m sure there are some of us who will accept some blame for this new way of living, but since women don’t choose, the responsibility for there being so many single Black women, falls on our men. We are not hunters.
Equally difficult for me, is the idea being proposed now, that Black women need to embrace the idea of dating men from other racial groups. Utter betrayal!!! But seriously, I have to say as difficult as it is, we will have to do it, not may have to do it. Why? Because too many of our men are having a wonderful time loving others while we allow ourselves to exist in a pit of sadness and despair. Why? Because too many women I know have been single for ten or more years. Unforgivable that our men would not find us desirable. We bring things to the table! It’s not a good feeling to be available and not have anyone from your own race not even see you. Talk about rejection! We seem to be lumped into this one container that is filled with weave wearing whores, prostitutes, strippers, dime pieces, side-chicks, and all other derogatory terms being used to describe women these days.
I have been having a difficult time making this shift myself, while still processing what has become another “new normal.” It seems most of our own men don’t want us, or like us. We are insulted and degraded, and our hearts are broken when women of other races are chosen before us. I’m sure there are some of us who will accept some blame for this new way of living, but since women don’t choose, the responsibility for there being so many single Black women, falls on our men. We are not hunters.
Equally difficult for me, is the idea being proposed now, that Black women need to embrace the idea of dating men from other racial groups. Utter betrayal!!! But seriously, I have to say as difficult as it is, we will have to do it, not may have to do it. Why? Because too many of our men are having a wonderful time loving others while we allow ourselves to exist in a pit of sadness and despair. Why? Because too many women I know have been single for ten or more years. Unforgivable that our men would not find us desirable. We bring things to the table! It’s not a good feeling to be available and not have anyone from your own race not even see you. Talk about rejection! We seem to be lumped into this one container that is filled with weave wearing whores, prostitutes, strippers, dime pieces, side-chicks, and all other derogatory terms being used to describe women these days.
So what do we do? Those of us who are single and looking, need to crawl out of that dismal container and open ourselves up to what is going to become “the real new normal. “ Men of other races loving Black women like no body’s business. Ok, I am not that comfortable with the idea yet, but I am having discussions with my family members and friends about the concept of “why not?” We are loveable, have love to give, and need to be loved.
As the “Lucky” month begins, I encourage Black women to really start thinking outside the box, and get love wherever you can, and in whatever form it comes in. Don’t let another twenty years go by without allowing yourself to benefit from what our men have been allowing themselves to have, while we wait patiently for them to change their minds. They won’t and we simply need not wait.
Embrace the shift! Embrace a “new” kind of loving. We may yet enjoy it and find it blissfully fulfilling.
Love you my Sistas
As the “Lucky” month begins, I encourage Black women to really start thinking outside the box, and get love wherever you can, and in whatever form it comes in. Don’t let another twenty years go by without allowing yourself to benefit from what our men have been allowing themselves to have, while we wait patiently for them to change their minds. They won’t and we simply need not wait.
Embrace the shift! Embrace a “new” kind of loving. We may yet enjoy it and find it blissfully fulfilling.
Love you my Sistas
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