Family History Month: Corporal Punishment or Not…Discipline Tips for Families

​It can be difficult to break some of the habits that have become a part of our lives over the years.  Many children who grew up with parents/grandparents/relatives in the Caribbean, know the phrase, “don’t spare the rod and spoil the child,” very well.  Corporal punishment or “getting a beating,” was the form of discipline used in many households to get children to act appropriately.  Many adults swear that striking a child is an appropriate form of punishment, and see no reason to stop that behavior. 
 
Many who have been recipients of this form of punishment can divulge narratives (some quite funny) about their “beating” episodes.  There are some however, who can tell you that though the “beating” changed their behavior in many cases, it has left them with physical and/or emotional scars.  With that in mind, parents today, may want to consider other forms of discipline.  Maturity, education, hard work, and consistency, is required to make the necessary changes.
 
The question many ask is “How can parents who are conditioned to discipline their child by giving him/her a “beating,” be encouraged to discipline their child in other ways?” There are many things parents can do, but here are a few ideas to begin the journey.

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Six things parents can do:
1.  Clearly identify the behavior.

• Think about what’s going on, and what caused the behavior to occur.

2.  Think about how you feel about the behavior. 

• Is it something you can overlook?  Did it make you angry?
  
• Measure your degree of anger and if you are very angry walk away until you are less angry.

3.  Talk with your child as soon as possible about the behavior. 

• Talk about how you are feeling and allow your child to share how he/she is feeling. 
• This often give you time to think carefully, which can allow you not to act irrationally. 
  

4.  Come up with a consequence for the behavior that does not require you to strike the child in anger. 

• Time out, no television for a specific time, chores, apology, no technology devices, no play time with friends, etc.

5.  Think about whether the consequence and the allotted time for punishment is reasonable. 

• Don’t go overboard.  Make an intelligent, rational decision.

6.  Keep communication open with your child.

• Be clear, open, and honest. 
• Make your child feel like he/she matters.
• Engage your child in tasks where he/she learns how to make good decisions.
• Remember to hug your child and say, “I love you.” 

 
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